Hey, you made it! Welcome to my official blog. This is where you will be able to follow my journey leading up to my trip and also during my two months overseas this summer. Go ahead and click the subscribe button to get alerted whenever I post something new.
I put a lot of thought and procrastination into this first post as I tried to figure out what the best way to start was. In a lot of ways, I feel like this is the official starting block in the process for me. The light has turned green, the whistle has blown, and the gun has gone off. So here we go….
I feel like a good place to start would be to tell you a little bit about why I signed up for this trip and a little bit more about my heart behind missions. Ever since I was probably ten years old, the idea of “missions” was always something that excited me deep inside. Back then the draw came from hearing and reading the testimonies of famous missionaries, the idea of learning new languages, the opportunity to visit and experience new cultures, and even just the desire for an adventure of some sort. That was when I was ten. Although I have evolved quite a bit in my reasoning since then, I would be lying if I said that those things still don’t excite me today. But as I sit now in my Junior year of college, with the possibility of being a missionary seemingly much closer and much more real, I have found myself asking and reevaluating where that love for missions and desire to be a missionary comes from today? What is it exactly that ignites the passion inside my heart?
One of the most transformational prayers in my life that I have prayed over the last couple of years is that God would give me his heart. I believe this prayer was birthed from David’s cry in Psalm 51:10. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” However, over the years, this prayer has moved far beyond a cry for a cleansing of sinful areas within my heart. As I have offered up to the Lord the broken pieces of my sinful heart, the Lord has been faithful to restore those fractured places with pieces of his own. I believe that it is from those broken places that the Lord has given me the heart for missions. That is where the passion for missions inside of me comes from. It is not of my own, but I genuinely believe it is a special gift given by God. It is from those restored places of my heart, that I have cried many tears for those who haven’t known or experienced the incredible love of God. It is in the moments of intense grief and sadness over the brokenness in this world, that I get to catch a glimpse into the heart of God. It is in the prayers for the lost and the unreached to know and be known by the Lord that I often feel closest to his heart. The Lord desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:4).
I said yes to a relationship with the Lord somewhere around the age of six or seven. I like to think that I have grown and matured in my faith quite a bit since then. However, recently the Lord has been teaching me not to be so focused on spiritual growth and maturity, but instead to focus on simply spending time with him, getting to know him. Getting to know his heart. I have found that focusing on my relationship with the Lord and truly getting to know his heart causes me to fall more in love with him. And the more I fall in love with the Lord, the stronger the heart and the passion for missions grows inside of me. His love has and continues to transform every single area of my life. I believe that the more we experience and taste the love of God in our lives the more we naturally want to share it with other people. It is one of my greatest prayers that God would create in my a heart that is completely discontent with keeping the gift of his love to myself. I have been given the greatest gift of all time in a relationship with the Lord, and I can honestly say that one of my greatest desires is to proclaim and share that gift with others. I was reading in the book of Acts today and one verse that stuck out to me came from Paul’s farewell address to the church in Ephesus. He said, “But whether I live or die is not important, for I don’t esteem my life as indispensable. It’s more important for me to fulfill my destiny and to finish the ministry my Lord Jesus has assigned to me, which is to faithfully preach the wonderful news of God’s grace.” I was challenged by Paul’s devotion to the mission God had given him. I asked myself whether that same devotion and heart for the mission was present in my own life. I couldn’t honestly say that whether I live or die is not important to me, but I can definitely say that I am praying I get there one day. I can say that I am closer to that heart than I was when I was ten years old or even than I was a year ago. It is my prayer moving forward that the closer I get to the Lord and the more I fall in love with him, the more I would fall in love with the mission set before me and the less I would love the things of this world.
I truly believe that the Lord has given me a heart for missions, and I know that it is not something I am able to give or even keep myself. I pray that I am obedient to wherever the Lord leads me. I don’t know exactly where he will lead me or what it will look like, but for now, I am going to do my best to take every opportunity to live from the heart he has given me. I pray for myself and every person who reads this, that we would learn and love to live not out of our broken and sinful heart, but instead from the pieces of God’s heart that he has given to each of us.
