Known

          I don’t think I will ever get tired of this moment. There have been many special memories created in moments like this. His presence is so real and tangible that it is almost as if he is sitting right next to me. I wish I could just sit here forever. In this moment, there is nothing I desire more than to just simply sit here and be with him. As I whisper quiet prayers and listen for him to respond, I can’t help but think about how good He is. Everything in this moment is good. In no other place on this earth have I felt such inner peace, encountered such love, and experienced such overwhelming gratitude and joy in my heart.

 Psalm 27:4

One thing I have desired of the Lord, and that one thing I will seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to insure in his temple.

          I lean over and rest my head against the side of the chair that I sit next to on the floor. I think about how the Bible mentions that John would lean his head back on Jesus’ chest. I always thought that was kind of weird, but in this moment I can’t help but think that I may be catching a glimpse of what John must have felt in that moment. It is vulnerable. It is personal. It is intimate. It is beautiful. And I never want to leave.

          I can’t believe that I get to know him. And I don’t just know about him, but I know him as my Lord and Savior. I know him as my loving father. I know him as my personal friend. I know him as a help in times of trouble, a peace in the midst of uncertainty, and an inner strength in the throes of weakness. I have known him in moments of tremendous joy, and I have known him in moments of tremendous sorrow. I have known the all-encompassing power of his Holy Spirit, and I have known the gentle comfort of his still, small voice. I have known him on the mountain, and I have known him in the valley. I have known him in my spiritual brokenness, and I have known him in my resurrection by his blood. I know HIM. 

John 17:3

And this is eternal life, that they may know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.

          “REST in the fact that you know me.” As he speaks those words to me, it is all suddenly made very simple. So often I overcomplicate things. What else do I desire? Why do I continue to strive? What more could I ask for? There is an unwavering security that is found in simply knowing Jesus. I think I am often fearful that I will walk away from the Lord due to the desires of my own flesh and that I will no longer be able to experience the joy of his presence as I do in this moment. I wonder how many times that fear has actually kept me from being able to know the Lord and experience his presence in the ways that he would want me to. I can sense him smiling down on me as I realize how silly that fear is. As if knowing him was something of my own doing. It was not something I found or earned on my own, and therefore it is not something I need to worry about keeping or safeguarding for myself. I close my eyes and once again thank him again for his ever-present grace in my life. “Where would I be if I didn’t have you, Lord? Thank you for the gift you have given me in relationship with you. I so often take it for granted, so thank you for your grace which has allowed me this moment of remembrance. I thank you that I can rest in the simple fact that I know you. I desire nothing more, and I need nothing else. May I continually find lasting satisfaction in intimacy with you.”

          Tonight, I am reading in Philippians chapter three. I think it might be my favorite chapter in all of scripture. Paul writes:

Philippians 3:7-11

Yet all of the accomplishments that I once took credit for, I’ve now forsaken them and I regard it all as nothing compared to the delight of experiencing Jesus Christ as my Lord! To truly know him meant letting go of everything from my past and throwing all my boasting on the garbage heap. It’s all like a pile of manure to me now, so that I may be enriched in the reality of knowing Jesus Christ and embrace him as Lord in all of his greatness. My passion is to be consumed with him and not clinging to my own “righteousness” based on keeping the written Law. My “righteousness” will be his, based on the faithfulness of Jesus Christ – the very righteousness that comes from God. And I will be one with him in his sufferings and I will be one with him in his death. Only then will I be able to experience complete oneness with him in his resurrection from the realm of death.

          Nothing is able to compare to the delight that comes from knowing and experiencing Jesus Christ as my Lord! When I sit and rest in the idea that I know him, everything else begins to pale and disappear in comparison. Worry, anxiety, and stress seemingly melt away. There are many things I desire in this world. I would love to get married, have kids, and raise my family. I would love to move overseas and be a missionary. I would love to excel in my future work and career. I would love to never have to worry about finances. I would love to be respected and looked upon well by others. These are all very real desires of mine, but I wouldn’t want any of them if it meant I can’t have Jesus. “You worry about many things, but only one thing is important” (Luke 10:41-42). I pray that above all else, and before all else, I would seek to know my Heavenly Father. May I be willing to “throw everything else on the garbage heap” in the pursuit of knowing Jesus Christ fully. 

          To know Jesus Christ fully requires that I be fully known by him. He knew every darkened place of my sinful heart and the secret places I kept hidden from others. He knows every evil thought and every wicked intention harbored in my fallen flesh. Yet he died on the cross that I may know him. Praise God. I have no need to carry shame from my past actions or any fear of possibly returning to my old way of life. He has made me his own. So, “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14). 

          I pray that I would never neglect or brush aside an opportunity to know Jesus Christ more fully. In the midst of suffering, pain, hurt, questioning, doubt, anger, frustration, brokenness, sin, sorrow….may I seek to know him. If I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I want people to see me walking through it with Jesus. May I never fear. May I never lose hope. For I have known the Lord and he has known me.

Philippians 1:20-21

No matter what, I will continue to hope and passionately cling to Christ so that he will be openly revealed through me before everyone’s eyes. So I will not be ashamed! In my life or in my death, Christ will be magnified in me.